Tuesday, December 22, 2009

slackin...

I have been slacking a little too much lately and the scale has been showing it! I have gotten exercise in for the last 3 days and it does feel good! I went sledding with the kids Sunday at my parents and it was so much fun! I sledded down the hill twice but have walked up it 4 or 5 times! I had to go down and get kids back up! It was quite a workout for my legs pulling a 40 pound child up a snow covered hill!! We were out for about an hour I think and the kids had a blast. They both fell asleep on the way home, of course!! I had pilates class last night and it was so hard! She keeps throwing in new, harder moves!!! But I love it! I can't wait until Thursday! We go to his parent's house on Christmas Eve and open presents. I can't wait to see if I will get P90X!! If I don't, then I may just have to use my Christmas money and buy it!! Well, I have to get some exercise in today, so I may get on my Wii Fit Plus. The kids love watching me play it!

Friday, December 11, 2009

back on the exercise wagon

My legs hurt! I did an hour on my Wii Fit Plus and burned 325 calories! I know it doesn't seem like much and I didn't sweat, but I was getting hot! But I was moving around! I did the free run twice (you just run in place) because I had to follow a cat on the run. The kids thought that funny. I managed to do a few yoga and strength moves too, along with all the games. But of course, when you are doing the games you are moving. If you want your Mii to jump, you are really just doing a squat and standing up fast, but not jumping off of the balance board. So, you are exercising and may not even realize it. I like the hula hoop and advance step.

I haven't been eating to well today, it's the snacking. I had a pretty good lunch, salad with chicken and a little piece of pizza...but also had too many snacks already today! I will do good with dinner. My sis and I are going shopping tonight. I should be able to finish my christmas shopping tonight!!! So happy about that! I made a calendar on snapfish for my in-laws. Except instead of just on calendar like I did last year, I made them each a small desk flip calendar they can each take to work with them. My mother-in-law took it to work with her this year and that f-i-l wasn't too happy!! Now they will each have their own, mainly because I got one free! Thank you Racheal Ray!!! :) I have so much going on this weekend!! It's going to be crazy!!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

its sooo cold!!

I cannot believe how cold and windy it is out and that my hubby and bro in law are out hunting in it! I know there are only 3 days left to hunt, but this is crazy! They are crazy!! Oh well, but my hubby got a doe this past Saturday and I love all that meat (lean meat!!) in my freezer! So, I can't complain! This is the first deer my hubby got in 4 years! My pappy got 2 this year and my dad got 1. My bro in law just has to get one and then all the hunters will have gotten a deer this season!!

Anyway, I haven't had a good workout in days. I am so not motivated in the mornings this week because I've been getting to bed late this week mostly because of the kids and last night because of the hubby! I haven't had a good workout since Thanksgiving, except for my pilates class Monday nights. It got me off track and I haven't been able to get back on track yet. We are going to my parent's tonight and maybe I will get on the treadmill for a little bit. They aren't using it!! I will do the Wii Fit today here after Dora is over. That will get me going a little bit. It's the holiday season and I soooo want to bake cookies, but resisting the baking bug! It's because if I make it, I will eat it..and the kids. The hubby won't eat it....except for chocolate chip cookies!! I promised the kids I teach on Sunday at church I would bring them a treat this week and I have my Pampered Chef Holiday Brunch saturday morning that I have to make something for...so that should quiet my baking bug for a little while!! I should be a baker, that way I can bake everything that I want and don't have to eat any of it!! Started a new diet this week and I have a weigh in tomorrow, so we will see how it's going. I have cheated a little bit here and there and need to stop! It's breads and sweets! It is really hard to give them up! I am trying so hard and am sure I will feel better once I get the sugar out of my system. I know what it does to your system and it really isn't pretty! Ok...this has been pretty long! :)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

oh happy day!

OK, so pilates class last night kicked my butt....but I love it! Today was the end of my Fit for the Fall Competition and I weighed in at 240.2!!! I thought my scale was stuck at 242!! So, during this competition I have lost 14 pounds and so happy with myself!! The best part is that I have kept it off!! I usually give up and regain everything that I lose, but not this time!! This time it will keep it all off! I am going to be spending most of the day today quilting...I have to finish the one on my frame....it's been there too long!!! But I should be able to fit in a small workout later today. I am soooo happy!!! I just have to stick to my diet and not cheat! I am trying to get the sugar out of my system again. It is so hard and I am grumpy for a few days when I do it, but I usually do feel better once the withdrawal is over!! lol My next weigh in for my other competition is Friday and I hope to be down to at least 239! I cannot wait to be out of the 40s! My goal is to be out of the 200s by March!! I know 40 pounds in 3 months is a bit aggressive, but I'm in a wedding in August and I don't want to be the 'fat' bridesmaid!! You know there is always one!!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

sunday

It has been a week since I last posted and I have been lacking. I worked out three times this week I think. I know I have to get back in the groove of things, but so much has been going on lately that I am just too tired to do my exercising in the morning. If I don't exercise in the morning, I don't get it in. I have pilates class tomorrow night, so I know I will be exercising tomorrow. I am going to get back into the groove tomorrow morning. I really want to go to my parent's house and use their treadmill a few times a week. I have to get moving again and get my weight loss going again. I've lost 12 pounds so far and have stalled. I keep gaining and losing about the same 2 or 3 pounds. I copied the diet the doctor gave my dad and on it you are supposed to lose 50 pounds in 2 1/2 months....so we will see how this goes. It's mainly protein and veggies. I am going to start it tomorrow, so we will see how it goes. I can't cheat on it!! I'm such a sugar addict!!! It's horrible, I know!! I have decided not to bake cookies this holiday...or pretty much anything! I know if it is in the house that I will eat it and I really don't want to gain any weight this holiday season. I want to lose it! I really hope I get the P90X system for Christmas! I really don't know what I will do if I get it! I will be so happy! If I don't get it, I may be spending my Christmas money one it. We will see. I really don't want anything else except for that and some weights. Tomorrow is a new day!! :)

Saturday, November 28, 2009

saturday

Has it really been since Monday that I posted? It's been a busy week with the kids getting shots, Thanksgiving, shopping on Black Friday and Farmers Market and extra kids today. I hate to say that I haven't really had a good workout in two days! I know it's bad, but I'm trying to squeeze it in. I am looking for a gym that is affordable to join. I do love Curves, and it is a great workout, but if they would only open at 6am, I would be able to do it! I need a 24 hour gym so I can go super early, or even super late. There is one that isn't too far away, but cost quite a bit and there are 2 Planet Fitnesses that are 14 miles away (in two different directions!) and is only 29.99 to join and 10 a month. The one that would be better to join because there will be less traffic to get to it doesn't open until January. So, I may just wait for that one to open. I may go over on Monday and see when exactly they open and what they offer. I figure if I do that I can get my cardio in early before the kids get up or at night, when the hubby can take care of them. I don't know what to do! I may also wait until after Christmas to see if I get the P90X that is on my list. I have to talk to my hubby and see what he thinks. Well, I'm going to feed the kids now.

Monday, November 23, 2009

:)

Had a great weekend, but quite busy!! Saturday I worked at Curves, so I got my workout in! :) Took the kids to meet 6 of their cousins at Build A Bear, so they could get an animal. We came home with a stuffed pony and monkey! Then we went and got family pictures taken! Friday night we went to eat at Longhorn Steakhouse (hubby got a giftcard for his birthday) and had a great meal!! I did pretty good! Sunday after Thanksgiving Lunch at my mom's, I went to see New Moon with my sister and 2 sis in laws. It was ok. We had fun being together. Survived night one without the hubby. It's kind of weird when he's not in bed with me. But my 4 year old son came into my room sometime in the middle of the night and crawled up onto my hubby's side and slept. I wasn't that surprised to see him there! Didn't get but maybe 10 minutes of exercise in on Sunday, but at least it was something!

I did a really good workout this morning! I knew I had to, but I woke up with a killer headache. I took some Motrin and as soon as it kicked in and got rid of my headache, I did my workout! I was interrupted a few times by the kids needing drinks or fighting! Another day down!!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Fabulous Friday

Day 32 down! My alarm went off at 5:30 this morning and I actually got up at 5:50am!! Unfortunately, both of my kids were in my room too and they got up with me :( So there went trying to workout alone! But it doesn't matter because I still got it done and did really good with it. I have most of the sequences down and I am working hard on the push ups. I am up to 2 sets of 14 - yes on my knees! This is a big accomplishment for a woman of my weight! That's alot of weight to push up and down!! I think my pilates is definately helping to strenghthen my core muscles....also they get a work out everyday!! I am also able to hold a full side plank (meaning I'm up on my feet and not my knees) which I could not do a few months ago when I started pilates. I love how I am progressing in my pilates class and being able to do more each class. I do have some lower back issues, so some stuff is a little painful, but I adjust for it...or just grit my teeth until it's over!! :) I am busy tomorrow! Working at Curves in the morning, so will at least get a workout in, taking the kids to Build A Bear to meet up with their cousins (total of 8 kids) and then family pics. I hope the kids will be up for pics after Build A Bear!! Sunday we are having Thanksgiving dinner at my parent's, celebrating my daughter's 3rd birthday and then I am going to see New Moon with my sis and 2 sils! The hubby is leaving for the cabin to go bear hunting Sunday evening and won't be back until sometime Wednesday. So, it's a busy weekend and a few interesting days without the hubby. Plus he is going to miss our daughter's actual birthday, which is Tuesday. As long as I get my exercise in and watch my eating, I will be fine! 2 hours and 45 minutes until we leave! oh and the kids are sleeping over at the in-laws tonight!!!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Day 31

I realized today I have made it 31 days of exercising everyday!! I have only done the Wii Fit today so far today for 40 minutes. I got to sleep in until 7:30 today and then didn't get the time to get my actual workout in this morning. I have a few extra kids today, so when they are all gone today (by 6:30 tonight) I will do my workout then. I am loving my workout program and now can do most of the seqences without messing up!!! I am so proud out myself because some days I am so not coordinated!! I am looking forward to my workout tonight and by then I will need the stress outlet!!! :)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Terrific Tuesday

It has been a good day...so far!!! Today and yesterday I got my exercise in plus played the Wii Fit for about 45 minutes each day for my kids. They love watching me play it and it gets me moving! I do all the balance games for them and then get some of the aerobic games in (step and hula hoop) and even do some of the yoga and strength moves too. I usually am done after 45 minutes because some of the games exhaust me!! Ever try hula hooping for 6 minutes? It's not easy!! lol

Weight is up 3 pounds, but working on that. I think I got everything back under control and watching what is going in my mouth! I am trying to stop drinking the diet soda, not only because it's not that good for me but also because I spend at least $10 a week for soda...just for me. I really can't afford it anymore!! :) So, I am drinking more water and getting at least 8 oz of skim milk. I know I am not getting enough calcium in me! I have to go buy more vitamins because I am out of them!! :)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

day 28

Day 28 down! I didn't get up before church to exercise like planned because 2 year old had me up from 2am-4am!! It was a beautiful day out today, so we played outside this afternoon. I ran after the kids...which was exercise!! I did 45 minutes on the Wii Fit and I can feel it in my legs and bum!! Tomorrow I will be doing my Wave exercise again. I do really good with it during the week and Saturdays, but Sunday seems to be an off day for me. So I do what I can. I worked at Curves yesterday and I had to talk myself into doing the workout because I really, really didn't feel like it!! But I did it and of course, felt better after I did it! My mother-in-law wants a Christmas List this year and I think I'm going to ask for the P90X system. Hey, I can hope can't I!?!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Friday the 13th

Well I have been exercising everyday now for 26 days!! I know! How great is that? I have also finally mastered (well, at least didn't mess up) a particular sequence in the one exercise program. I can't tell you how many times I have done that exercise sequence in the last 26 days, but I finally got it right!!! I was so happy with it! I am working at Curves tomorrow morning, so I will be taking my measurements then to see if I have lot any more inches. I have lost a few and it feels great, but just wishing the scale would go down too!! I know I haven't been eating too well for the past week and I just can't seem to help it. I know it is all in my head!! I have to get my head and emotions all in check and get back on track. I have been pretty good today, so far, but haven't eaten lunch yet come to think of it and it is almost 2pm.

My son turned 4 on Wednesday and I really can't believe it! He is my oldest and my daughter will be 3 on the 24th. Where has the time gone!?!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

a bit disappointed

I did a great workout this morning, but my legs are killing me! I weighed in this morning for my Fit for the Fall competition and I haven't lost any weight. I haven't gained any weight either...but a bit disappointed and frustrated. It's ok, but not progressing like I thought I would be. I know it can't go like we want it to, but I thought I would be out of the 240s by now. Two months into this competition and about 4 weeks left to it and I have only lost 12 pounds. I know 12 pounds is a good accomplishment, but was hoping to be around 20 pounds lost by now. I am exercising everyday and loving it. So either I need to exercise more or it's my eating that I need to take a look at. I really hate keeping a food journal but may have to start it up again and really try to keep it going. blah!! I have to get this weight off of me! My husband wants to go to the beach in June now...(I'm not that big of a fan of the beach) and really do not want to be this size!! I know only I can change thing and to quit compaining and keep doing! Well, I'm doing it....only need to do it a little bit better!!

Monday, November 9, 2009

another day...

Another day of exercise down!! I slept in this morning until 8am!! I know...so luxurious!! lol Anyway, the hubby was hunting and I got the kids set with some food and drinks and got down to business. It was a long, hard workout today, but I did it and I was dripping sweat when I was done. I have my pilates class yet tonight, which I am looking forward to, but it may be a little hard! My legs ache a little from all the lunges, squats and plies that I have done today and yesterday. Yesterday was hard!! I didn't get up in time to workout before church and we had lunch at mom's, which wasn't very healthy!! My brother made chicken croquettes...which were good! I had one and a huge salad. When I got home aroun 4pm, the kids were asleep and I wanted to nap too...but I made myself workout. It totally kicked my butt! I sat down when I was done and didn't think I could get back up!!! But I did it and my exercise streak is going good!! Day 22!

Friday, November 6, 2009

wii fit plus

Can I tell you how much I love the Wii Fit Plus? I love it!! It is a great low impact exercise tool and the Plus can tell you your calorie loss count. It is awesome! I have been pretty good with doing my Wave workouts, but this morning I was exhausted and didnt get it in before everyone else got up. So i only did the wii fit plus today, but at least I did something and burned about 300 calories. Of course, I didnt eat too good today. My hubby and I went to Chilis for dinner today and I had the grilled tacos. I know it wasnt the best decision, but it was good!! We went birthday shopping today. My son is turning 4 on the 11th!! I cant believe it!!

I am doing a double workout tomorrow morning! The town is having its Veterans Day parade tomorrow morning and we may nwatch it...considering its going to go right past my house!! I have to work off what I ate tonight!!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

day 16

Day 16 of consecutive exercise. I am doing so good!! I am enjoying my exercise routine, but thinking about stepping it up a notch. I need more time!! It is so hard to get up at 5:30am, when I really don't have to! I was never a morning person! I had a great workout this morning and then did a little bit of the Wii Fit. I had to stop to go Vote today when I had the chance. The hubby left for the hunting cabin this morning and won't be home until tomorrow sometime! I sure hopes he gets a deer! He said he was amazed I was actually sticking to the Wave exercise program. He said it is the first thing I have stuck to ever. Which is so true, but he could have worded it better! He is not very tactful!

I had a weigh in today and back down to 242, from 244. I have been bouncing back and forth between these two numbers for about 2 or 3 weeks now. I am a bit frustrated with it. This is why I am thinking about stepping up the exercise. I also need to pay more attention to my eating. I know I am doing pretty good, but I need to be better. I have to remind myself that this is a lifestyle change, not a diet!! Off to bed, to get up early to workout!!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween!!

I love halloween! We had a little parade today and the kids got lots of candy thrown at them. I have a bag of candy that the kids won't or can't eat already to give away. Trick or treat is tonight...if the rain stops!! I will have more to get rid of then! The kids love it and it is fun to see them in their costumes and all excited.
I worked at Curves this morning and got my workout in. I also did half an hour on the Wii Fit Plus to show my hubby the new games on it. My 3 year old son loves when I play it because he likes to pick the games for me to play. Today is day 13 of consecutive exercise!!!! I feel good about it and I hope to keep it up!! I have to get up early before church tomorrow to get a workout in or it may not happen! There is a lot going on tomorrow...so I just have to get out of bed!!! Happy Halloween!!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

day 11

Day 11 of consecutive exercise!!! I can't believe I have kept it up for this long! I feel really good after I do it, even when I am sweating bullets! I did my 30 minutes Wave exercise and then a 20 minute Windsor Pilates and I felt really good after I was done. I hope the scale tomorrow for my weigh in shows the efforts I have been putting in this week.

I went out to eat with my hubby tonight and thought I had ordered something really good. We went to Hoss's Steak and Sea food, which also has a salad, soup, bread, and dessert bar that goes with every entree. I ordered the Tomato Herb Tilapia instead of Steak, because I am trying not to eat animal proteins for dinner. ..which I am finding is kind of hard to do!!! I even got the steam brocolli instead of rice, but I forgot to ask how it was cooked. It comes out drowning in lemon butter sauce. I couldn't believe it!! It tasted really good, but not sure what that butter did to the fish!! Next time when we go, I know what to ask for! How can you take fish and make it so unhealthy!?! It's just wrong! I learned my lesson and it is a good thing we don't go out to eat often!! We went to Target and I got the new Wii Fit Plus and cannot wait to try it out tomorrow!!!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

wet wednesday

It is raining....again! My back yard is a lake! I should post a pic just to show you how bad my yard floods! Anyway, I did have a great weekend and I am keeping it up. I did really good Monday and Tuesday with getting up and getting my workout in and doing well on my eating. I didn't work out this morning because I was way too tired and didn't get to it yet. I may do it here when the kids have lunch. I went to bed around 10 and then was up at 12:30 with both kids. My 3 year old went right back to sleep but my 2 year old was resisting. I laid down on the rug on the floor with a pillow intending to go back to bed when she fell asleep. Well, I must have fell asleep before her because when I woke up at 3am she was laying beside me and don't remember her getting out of bed. So, I put her back in her bed and I went back to mine. Well, when my alarm went of at 6am, both kids were in bed with me and I was sooo uncomfortable. A queen size bed isn't made for 4 people! I got up and so did my 3 year old and we came down and just chilled for a while. I could so go back to sleep right now, but my day has been going on now and there is so much to do.

The weigh in yesterday went really well! I was at 242! I was just excited because I didn't gain any weight over the weekend like I have been doing! In fact, I lost one pound from Friday! My goal is down 2 more pounds by Friday. It is a lot, but I think I can do it! I just have to get up and workout!!!! I'll take that one pound loss and move on! Any kind of loss is good!!! I know this will take me quite a while to acheive my goal and the Holiday Season is almost upon us!! I just have to be strong and stay away from the desserts and I will be ok!!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

beautifrul day

I have had a good weekend. Saturday morning I went shopping with mom and got my 2 year old a halloween costume. She is going to be a purple fairy, with wings. My 3 year old is going to be a penguin again this year. We went to McDonalds for lunch and even though I didn't eat the fries, I did have an Angus burger. They are sooo good and I've been wanting a good burger. We went to my grandparent's for dinner because my hubby shot 4 squirrels and my grandma made him squirrel pot pie. The hubby ate 3 plates full of the stuff and I was just looking at the potatos and the homemade dough noodle and thought about all the fat and carbs!!! I had a sausage pattie and a little bit of macs n cheese. Again, not the best, but I couldn't just sit there and not eat anything! I was still a bit full from my lunch anyway!

I did get saturday's workout in before I left for shopping with mom. Today, I only got a little walk in, but at least it was something!! I ate really good today too, except for a tiny, tiny sliver of pumpkin cake. I love pumpkin!! We had breakfast for lunch at mom's today and so I made myself the eggs I usually eat in the mornings, one whole egg and two egg whites. I also had a little piece of ham and half a slice of turkey bacon. Dinner was 2 oz of whole wheat pasta and 4oz of flounder. My food scale has definately been getting a workout lately!!!

I would chalk this weekend up to a winner! It has definately been better than the last few weekends, even though I did eat at McDonald's!! I like Lisa's suggestion of not having animal protein for dinner and I think I am going to try that this week. The hubby won't do it, so I will just have to make him something! I have got to get to the store tomorrow and get some more veggies for salads for this week. Pilates tomorrow night!!!

Friday, October 23, 2009

day 5 of exercise

Today is my day 5 of consecutive exercise! I got up at 6am and did my workout. I did 30 minutes of the Wave and 20 minutes of Pilates. I felt really good afterwards. The kids got up and when I sat down, I was ready to sleep again! I know it is probably the Bendedryl I took because of my sinus headache and runny nose. It did just about knock me out yesterday!

I got a shower and that woke me up! The kids still aren't dressed yet, but that really doesn't matter if they are in their jammies all day! I'll probably get them dressed here soon. I have a Pampered Chef show tonight that I have to prep for today. I'm waiting for the Fed Ex guy to bring me more catalogs. I just about ran out and really need them for tonight's show!!

I have to get costumes for the kids this weekend. Lots of Halloween activites going on next week! Trunk n Treat at church Wednesday night, Parade and Trick or Treating Thursday night and Parade Saturday morning and Trick and Treating Saturday night!! The kids will love it all...but that will bring lots of candy into the house!! I plan to give most of it away! The kids are young enough, they won't know!! :)

My weigh in today went really good. It was 243.6, so I lost 3 pounds this week! I want to be at 239 by next Friday's weigh in! I worked hard this week and just have to keep it up! Going shopping with my mom tomorrow, so gotta get a workout in before I go..or who knows when I will have the time! :)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

fabulous thursday

ok so after my rambling yesterday and Lisa's comments, I realized that my friends and family do love me the way I am! My husband tells me this all the time and has never pressured me to lose weight. I love him for that! I also thought of Lisa's question - if I would be happy at this weight for the rest of my life? I have been at this weight for 3 years now and I could live like this for the rest of my life because of all the love I have in my life. Now that I have made this realization, I think I can own my weight loss! I can move on from all my issues, which I have pretty much gotten over anyway, but emotional baggage can always surface! I don't think my weigh in tomorrow will be very good, but I will be ok with it.

I worked out everyday this week so far and I feel good about it! I have had to do it when the kids were up, but it's ok. They have been pretty good about leaving me alone and playing, but they are fascinated by the Wave board and just have to get on it sometimes! :) But I am 4 days into my goal and it's been good.

I went yesterday and cut off all my hair!! My husband was at the cabin hunting and had no clue that I was going to do it. I cut off about a foot of hair and donated it to Locks for Love. This is the 2nd time I've done it and it always feels good! So when hubby came home today, he was a bit surprised, but likes it. I had short hair like this when I met him and he's always liked it short anyway!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

wednesday...wednesday...wednesday

It is a gorgeous 70 degree day out! The windows are open letting in some fresh air! The only problem is the swarms of ladybugs outside!! Hundreds of ladybugs! It is horrible! My yard is also muddy from the 4 days of rain we had over the weekend, so I really can't take the kids outback to play. It's ok..I'll take them to the playground again today. We walked up to the playground yesterday, only about a 5 minute walk, pushing 2 kids in a stroller!

Anyway, I have figured out my weight gain from the weekend. It is something I always do and hard to admit to. It happens everytime! I lose some weight and then I will go back to eating whatever I want and gain it all back. That was happening the last few days. I had made homemade bread, which is always so freaking good to eat! One was white bread and the other was cinnamon raison! I couldn't resist and I ate so much of it over a few days, and with little exercise, it caused me to regain 3 pounds. It's digusting, I know! I'm disgusted with myself and what I did, but I didn't care at the time. I really have to stop this cycle and just push through and lose all the weight. I know it is not going to be easy and it took years for me to get to this weight and it's not going to disapear overnight (don't we all wish it would?!) and so I have a long journey ahead of me. I have so much support online, that I hate to disappoint anyone when I slip up. I dissapoint myself the most, but I know my limits of what I can and cannot do and I know what I should eat and what I shouldn't!! Why can't I do it?! Why can't I stick to my eating plan? I'm not depriving myself of food, I can eat quite a bit of the right foods and stay within my calorie limit. So what is my problem?

It is emotional and mental. I always ate my emotions and now I don't know what to do instead. I have been better about it, but still need to find an outlet for my emotions. I know it's my past too...it's all the stuff I used to be called growing up, the lack of self-confidence that I still sometimes experience because I feel like I am constantly being judged by my weight. I am unhappy about it and have to put on a happy face most of the time to cover my sadness, or frustrations. It's hard for me to open up to people and tell them what I am going through or feeling or experiencing...even to my best friends that have known me forever! It's hard to tell my husband, because he has never had a weight problem and doesn't understand. I hate talking about my weight and weight loss attempts to my best friend, because she is way bigger than me and I don't want her to feel bad about herself! So this is my only outlet to talk about my frustrations and it is just easier to write them out...even if I know someone will read it.

So now that I got that out...I worked out for an hour today and feel really good about it. I got the Wave by the Firm and love it! It is fast paced and I will eventually get all the moves down! I did both the rock it out! and the sculpting one because I wanted to work on the steps and did really good!! I almost got all the steps down and I know one day soon I will get it! It works the hips, thighs, bum and core a lot (where I need the most work!) and also does upper body with weights while working the lower body! I know it is not as hard core as the P90X, but it is what I can do right now. With all exercise programs, there are great results with it that they show and so I am going to stick with it. I am trying to be like Lisa and try for 100 days of consecutive exercise!!! That's the new goal!!!!

Monday, October 19, 2009

just another manic monday

just another manic monday...wish it was a sunday... :) Anyway, I realized I haven't done this in a few days and that is because I've been slacking a little. I hit an 11 pound loss on Friday, and really want to be out of the 240s by this Friday. I am going to have to work really hard this week to reach that, because I was slacking over the weekend. I was back up to 245 this morning and just hope it doesn't go up any further than that for my weigh in tomorrow for Fit in the Fall comp. I rather report a no change than a gain. :) I got my new workout system today in the mail....The Wave by the Firm and the kids were playing on the Wave board before I had a chance to use it! I did the 10 minute intructional dvd and then the 30 minute sculpting dvd and I could barely keep up! I realize that I'm not too coordinated, but I think the more I do it, the more coordinated I will be and be able to keep up with the steps! But with the lunges and squats and steps, I can feel it in my tushie, inner and outer thighs and core!!

I am excited because that it where I need the most help! I am pear shaped and so need help in my hips, thighs and bum. I am excited to try the second workout tomorrow!! It is 45 minutes and a bit more ramped up! I am definately doing it before the kids get up because my 2 year old wouldn't stay off the board while I was trying to use it!! But I am excited and using it according to their workout schedule, which is 2 days, 1 rest day, 3 days, 1 rest day. I will probably do something else on the rest days...like pilates. I love pilates! A little disappointed that my class is cancelled for tonight because the instructor is out of town for work and couldn't find a substitute. I can go to Wednesday's class instead, but don't know if I will be able to becuase it is an hour earlier than the Monday class.

I am rambling on again because it has been too long since I've been on here! I did well yesterday at my parent's for lunch. I had a salad with chicken in it and some carrots and veggie dip. (light) I didn't have any dessert or the yummy looking homemade macs n cheese that was full of gooey cheese and cream and milk!! My brother was talking about deep frying it too!! lol Pure torture! Sunday lunches are my downfall. We all go to my parent's for lunch after church and each bring a piece of the meal. Mom had main dish this week and made ham pot pie and ham bean soup. I don't eat either of them, so it was easy to resist those!! I have to work on my Sundays, becuase usually I indulge so much that I rarely eat dinner that night! I haven't done that in a while, but some things are still hard to resist! I just have to make sure that I take something with me that I will eat. There is always salad!!

Wow, my legs hurt!! :) That has to mean it's working! LOVE IT! LOVE ALEVE!
My goals for this week:
1. drink all my water each day (this has been a challenge for me!)
2. exercise everyday!
3. lose 3 - 5 pounds
4. stay in calorie range each day
5. get enough sleep!!!! (this is hard too with kids that like to crawl into my bed!)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

a wonderful day

My nephew was born today!!!! It is a wonderful day!! Other than that exciting news, I had to go walk my brother's dog this morning...in the cold rain!!! I have been doing pretty good with my exercise and food plan. It has been cold today and this afternoon we had a little snow mixed in the rain! We ususally don't have snow this early in October!!

Tomorrow is pilates and ciruit training. I have to get some cardio in sometime tomorrow too. It is going to rain through Sunday and be cold, so I don't know if I will be getting outside the next few days!!!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

tuesday

I love my pilates class Monday night! It's an hour long and she makes us sweat!! I can do most of the moves pretty well and just when we get comfortable with something, she throws us a curve ball!! She adds new moves or adds more to the moves we already know and it kills!! I am usually sore by Wednesday from Monday night. I really wish I could do Wednesday night class too, but it's not at the right time for me with hunting season right now. I did 30 minute curcuit training yesterday morning too, and my eating was just about perfect!

I weighed myself this morning for my 'Fit for the Fall' weigh in and it was 243 pounds! I took the picture, but when I downloaded it after breakfast I noticed that the weight wasn't on the picture. Apparently it turned off right before I took the picture and didn't notice! So I had to weigh myself again and it said 245!! I had to weigh in at 245 instead of 243!! Given 245 was 3 pounds less than last Tuesday, but 5 pound loss would have been better! :) I have a weigh in on Friday, so I think it will be better by Friday. I want to be out of the 240s so bad!!! I tried to workout this morning, but the kids got up early and it didn't happen. I am going to try again here this afternoon...even if it is just 30 minutes on the Wii Fit. The stepping on there is really cool and I have yet to beat it!! I am determined to beat it! I do it 5 or 6 times and my legs are tired after that and have you ever tried to hula hoop for 6 minutes? It's really not as easy as it sounds!!! The plus is that the kids like to watch me do it! Since the 2 year old is napping, I think I am going to go play the Wii!!

Monday, October 12, 2009

had a good weekend!

I had a pretty good weekend with my eating! Saturday was easy but Sunday is usually a little harder! I did really well with my eating on Sunday and am very proud of myself! I am doing really well today too! I got on the scale this morning and it was down another 2 pounds!! I just hope it says the same thing or less tomorrow for the weigh in!! My clothes are feeling a litte looser and I know I am losing inches. Pilates has been helping alot with that! I did my 30 minute circuit training this morning and I have pilates class tonight. The hubby is out hunting, so I am taking the kids to the in-laws when I go to class and the hubby will pick them up after it gets dark. I hope he gets a deer. Venison tastes soooo good and a very lean meat!

I am keeping my food journal and I hate doing it but it is a really good tool. If I add up the counts after lunch, I see where I am at and can adjust my dinner to include whatever calorie count I need. Like I am at 900 calories already today, so I only have 300 calories for dinner. So, it looks like a salad with chicken or tuna on it for dinner! I don't eat dinner until after class, so that will be around 8pm tonight. I am making my husband his favorite meal tonight, a taco skillet with chicken, brown rice, corn, salsa, chicken stock and cheese. It is a pretty healthy meal, but I don't have the calorie allowance to eat that tonight. It's about 400 calories a serving, which is pretty good, but it's too much! I did go over on my calorie count yesterday by about 800...so gotta keep it on point today!! :)

Saturday, October 10, 2009

What a beautiful fall day!!

It is so beautiful out!! It rained last night and so my yard is nice and muddy, but it is literally to perfect fall day! The sun is shining, it is a little nippy out and the leaves are turning color! I have had a really good day so far today!

I worked at Curves this morning and so I got my workout in early today. I worked the machines as hard as I could and think I did really good today! My nutrition today has been on point. I just had dinner, a nice salad with some taco meat and black beans, with homemade salsa instead of salad dressing. It was so good!! I took the kids to mom's to help clean out her basement after work, but they were pretty much done by the time I got there! So I helped with some outside stuff and the kids were having a ball running through the woods and finding worms to feed the chickens! I took them to my sister's house to play with their cousins after that, got home at 4 and they are both still sleeping. I really need to wake them up, but I am enjoying the quiet! My husband is hunting, so it is just so peaceful in here! I should be unstairs quilting my customer quilt instead of on here!! lol

My weight was down to 244 pounds this morning!! I am finally back down to that from last Sunday! I was so surprised and happy this morning when I weighed myself! Now if only that was what the scale said yesterday for my weigh in! lol But I learned my lesson! It took me a week to lose the 4 pounds I had gained from this past Sunday and Monday and that was 4 pound that could have gotten me to 240 instead of back to 244!!! So, no more of that!

We have lunch every Sunday at Mom and Dad's after church and we each bring a part of the lunch, so you never really know what the sides are. We usually tell each other what the main dish is. So, I need to just start taking my own lunch when I am not in charge of main dish. I have it tomorrow and I am making tacos with turkey burger....which I need to go get out of the freezer!! I am going to have a salad with lots of veggies, a little bit of meat and beans and NO shells, tortillas or tortilla chips!! There is going to be guacamole there...so I have to go look up the stats for that!! I love guac!!

I have been keeping a food journal since I have started back onto the Curves Weight Management Program. It sucks, but it does give me a good look at what I am eating and my calorie, protein, fat and carb count!! I am going to start counting the fiber grams too. So my goals for the upcoming week are:

Workout 6 days a week for 45 minutes
Eat correctly every day
Pick out my meals the night before
Keep my food journal up to date daily!!
Move more
Lose 3-4 pounds (would love to be out of 240s by next Saturday!!)
Find a workout program to stick to

Thursday, October 8, 2009

could I be any more sore!?!

Oh my goodness!! Could I be any more sore? I have worked out everyday so far this week, and I am so sore!! I did a 30 minute, weight circuit today from my Women's Health magazine. It is a workout designed for body types and I thought I would give it a try. I hate lunges!!! Lunges with Bicep curls are worse!! My knees can't take too many lunges at once, so I have to break up the sets to get them all in. I feel good after I workout because I know I did something good for myself and my body. Aleve is my friend right now!!! lol

My eating has been really good the past 2 days and anticipating having a good weigh in Friday. As long as I have lost all that I have gain this past weekend, I will be really happy!!! I will be back on track and ready to lose more!! I have been trying to drink all the water I am supposed to and so far I have drank 32oz. I have a 32oz bottle that I fill up and keep in the fridge and I know that I have to drink 2 of them. I have one more to drink, but I have been in the bathroom so much today it's not funny!!! I know once you are used to drinking 64oz of water a day, the less you will have to use the bathroom. I just have to get my body back to being used to drinking all that water!! I know the water will help me in my weight loss, but I just find it hard to drink all that water!! I drink a lot when I work out, but really don't like drinking water all day long!! I am making an effort!!

I have to be strong tonight though! I have my monthly Pampered Chef meeting and they always have dessert there for during the meeting! I just have to remember what that sugar will do to my body if I consume it and that I want to lose weight more than I want whatever baked goods that will be there!! Temptation is everywhere!!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

ahh...so sore...so good

I am so sore today!!! It's a good thing! I did an hour DVD workout yesterday morning that was great. Then around 5pm last night my son wanted to go for a walk and he didn't want the stroller, but the wagon. So, I walked around town for an hour yesterday pulling two 35 pound kids in a wagon. Can you say sore arms!?! I felt it all in my triceps, biceps, the back of my thighs and my tushie!! There was a few hills that I wasn't sure if I was going to make it up, but I did it. It is soooo much easier pushing them in the double stroller!! lol

I got up this morning and did my balance ball DVD that is 45 minutes long. It is a pretty good core workout. It took a little longer because both my kids woke up while I was doing it and had to stop a few times for drinks and bathroom breaks. (The 3 year old is newly potty trained! :) But I got it done, even with a few distractions and I feel so much better!

I weighed myself this morning..I know I shouldn't be doing this everyday, but I can't help it. I think I am getting a little OCD about it all! Anyway, I am down a pound!!! I cannot believe it. I started following my Curves Weight Management Plan today and so far, so good. I have to go decide what I'm making for lunch, dinner and afternoon snack, so I am prepared. I think that is what I'm going to start doing in the evenings...picking my meals for the next day. That way I know what I am going to eat and not have to agonize over it! I will have the time to look and not be rushed. I think that's a good idea!! The good thing is that the hubby will eat the Curves meals too...I just have to make more or something extra for him. I just have to go find my food journal and start writing in that again. It's such a pain, but I know it's a good weight loss tool.

I have church tonight and we are cooking with the girls, so I need to find a healthy recipe for them to prepare. It's purely selfish on my part! I want to teach them how to cook healthy meals, but I also don't want to be tempted by food that isn't apart of my food plan. I don't think I can afford another slip up.

You know, people say they don't enter these competitions for the money. They enter it to compete, have support, support other people or to have someone hold them responsible for their weight loss. It is usually a motivator if you have someone you have to check in with...like the weigh ins. I can honestly say that I am in it for all of that and for the money. Life is hard right now for my family. I am a stay at home mom of two toddlers and my husband got laid off in May and has been unemployed since then. I babysit to make some extra money and work at the local Curves on Saturdays, mainly so I don't have to pay for my membership, but that pays minimum wage. So we are living on unemployment and that is always lower than what was made at the job. We are struggling a little bit, but have great family support that will help if we but ask. As everyone knows, it's hard to ask for help...espcially financially! So, if I could place in any of these competitions, even if it's not first, it will help us!! I know the competitions last for months, but even at the end of 3 or 4 months, if I have a little extra money to show for all my efforts along with my weight loss, it would be great!!

I just checked into the HAPPY NEW YOU competition and I see that I am really going to need to step it up a lot!! I need to find a workout regimen that I can stick to and keep my nutrition plan on point. It will be hard for me and my sweet tooth, but I have to do it! I also have to start drinking the proper amount of water everyday! I know I don't drink all that I am supposed to, so that is another goal that I am starting today! Ok, I've rambled on long enough! :)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

nutrition plan

Since Steve asked what my nutrition plan is I guess I'll tell! I am following the Curves Weight Management Plan. Curves, in case you don't know, is a women's gym that specializes in circuit training that can be done in 30 minutes. It is a great workout. They had a diet plan that was called 'the 6 week solution,' which was a 6 week diet that you follow and then just cycle through it again and again until you reach your goal weight. I had lost 20 pounds of that program, but if you go off of it, then you gain it back, which is what happened to me. I was tired of counting calories, carbs, protein and fat for every meal. It got tiring and boring. The new plan, the Weight Management Plan, is a lifestyle change. It is not a diet, but a way to eat for the rest of your life. When I did it the first time, I lost about 15 pounds. I do the high protein version (there is also a high carb version, depending on the results of the test in the book) and it really does work. I haven't been following it too closely lately, but I think I need to start to really follow it. I like it because I don't have to count calories, carbs, fat and protein. All the meals or snack options given have the right amount of each thing in them, so I don't have to count them. It's great for someone who hates doing all that counting!!

It is done in three phases. Phase 1 is done for one week, and it is a 1200 calories a day. Phase 2 is done for 4 weeks and it is 1500 calories. Then Phase 3 is a maintainance phase done for 2 - 4 weeks at 2000 calories. When on Phase 3 and you notice a 2 - 3 pound weight increase, you are to go to Phase 1 for a few days to lose those pounds. So, then if you have more weight to lose...then you cycle back through Phase 2 and 3 until you reach your goal weight. I know it sounds confusing, but it is a really good system. Plus the food is stuff you eat anyway...just lower calorie/fat/carb versions. My husband has eaten the meals and he likes them too.

I hate keeping a food journal too. I know how great it is and I try to write it all down, but I never keep it going! I think that keeping a consistent food journal will be my goal for this my competitions I am in now. If I can keep one for 3 months, then it should become a habit and not have any issues with it.

So, tomorrow I am going to start Phase 1 again, and really stick to it this time and keep a food journal. Well, my 3 year old son wants to go for a walk, so I'm going to go put my sneakers on!!

ah...weigh in day

Ok, today was a weigh in day and I was up 4 pounds!!! From Sunday and a little bit of eating left overs on Monday (you are right Steve...party left overs are evil!!!) I am now up 4 pounds!! arg!! It's ok, it's just a little roadbump, not a road block!! I have exercised for an hour yesterday and today and my eating is back on track today. I need to think before I eat. I need to think if I really want to eat whatever sweet or high calorie thing, or if I want to lose more weight. I know it is a mind game for the most part. I know I can overcome cravings. I know I can. I was a little weak yesterday. I made apple dumplings for my father in law, but made six. I'm sending four to my in-laws and two are left here. I ate one yesterday and I felt so sick after I ate it. It did taste really good, but I just felt sick. So, I really didn't eat much more after that yesterday because I just couldn't. Plus, I don't eat before I go to Pilates class or I get sick. I did eat a little bit of chicken for dinner around 9pm last night.

Today is going a bit better. I workout out this morning for an hour, had a good breakfast and now have to figure out what I want to eat for lunch. I'll probably have a salad with chicken in it. I am back on track now and ready to lose more weight!!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

what a day

I think I had a pretty good day. I didn't get a workout in, but I was on my feet almost all day today!! The baby party for my sis in law went really well today and she may be giving birth tonight or early tomorrow!! I tried to be really good on what I ate, but did eat some things that weren't on my diet!! I did eat a little slice of the marble cheesecake that I made...it was pretty good. I have some left in the fridge that I have to throw out tomorrow. Steve left a good comment on my last post...how bad do I want that scale to go down? I know now I want it bad enough to throw away the rest of the cheesecake in my fridge. No one else in my house eats it, so I know if it's here, I'll eat it!!

I'm getting up at 5am tomorrow morning when my husband gets up to go hunting to get a workout in before the kids wake up. Then I will have pilates class tomorrow night, so I will hopefully work off what I ate today. I have a weigh in on Tuesday with one competition a'nd a weigh in on Friday with my second competition that just started. I want to lose another pound by Tuesday's weigh in to get a solid 10 pound loss and at least 2 more by Friday's weigh in. I know I am going to have to step up my workout this week. I've been slacking a little bit, but I'm going to workout at least 30 minutes a day, at least 6 days this week!! So...I'll let you know how tomorrow goes. I'm afraid to step on the scale tomorrow!!! lol

Friday, October 2, 2009

a little concerned about the weekend

Ok, so I know I already posted today, but I have some concerns and need to get them out. I am hosting a baby party for my sister in law. Basically we are just getting together for lunch and presents..no games or any of that stuff. It is her second child, but her first son is 7 1/2 years old, so we thought it would be ok to have a baby party for her. It is a total surprise and she has absolutely no clue. The problem is that her due date is the 8th and she's been having contractions for a week now. So, she better hold him in until at least Sunday afternoon, after the baby party or we are sooooo screwed!!!

Soooo the problem is that the food we are going to have isn't the healthiest!! My sister and I are doing this and we are getting fried chicken from Giant, then she's making baked macs n cheese, veggie tray and chips. My mom is bringing parsley potatoes and my other sis in law is bringing cheesy potatos. I am making buffalo chicken dip, angel food cake, marble cheesecake and monkey bread. So not good!!!!! I'll make myself a salad with the veggie tray and lettuce that I have, but everthing else is soooooo off limits!!! I love all the desserts I'm making and the fried chicken is to die for...potatoes I can live without so that won't be an issue! I'm going to have to do extra workouts on Saturday and then Sunday night to burn off anything that I will eat!! I know I'll be having some cheesecake!!! I just know I have a weigh in on Tuesday and that will be the day all the extra calories I would eat, would show up on the scale. So, I'm going to try to be good...really try to be good!!!

I want to be down another p0und by tuesday, to make it a nice 10 pound loss for the first 3 weeks of my one competition. I want to be out of the 240s by the weigh in after that...I know 4 pounds a week is a lot to work for and I will have to really work for it, but I really want it!! REALLY WANT IT!!! I am ready to be out of the 240s, so I can work on getting out of the 230s and so on. If anyone is reading this, one thing you should know is that I can ramble a bit. I have been a journal keeper for years and I usually write a lot when I do write and this is such a great way for me to record my journey, my successes, frustrations, goals and asperations. I do tend to ramble!!!! :)

october

I love October! It is such a great month! It starts getting colder, apples are in season and it's time to cook with pumpkin. LOVE IT!!! The only problem is that I won't be able to eat anything that I bake! ha! That's ok! I think I like the process of baking, than eating it anyway....well that's what I'm going to tell myself!! I love to bake!! My friend makes these amazing pumpkin spice cupcakes for her daughter's birthday party and I know that's coming up here soon!! I may just have to adjust my eating for that day to include a cupcake...and I can resist cake!! Just this past wednesday I resisted chocolate cake with chocolate icing!!! Cake is easy for me to resist...pies are another issue all together!! Anyway...off the topic of food before I get too hungry!!

I weighed in this morning because I am starting a new weight loss competition on Weight Loss Wars and I weighed in at 245!! That's 2 pounds down from my last weigh in!! I have lost 9 pounds so far since starting my first competition 3 weeks ago! I want to be down another pound by my weigh in on tuesday for a nice 10 pound loss!! I want to lose 46 pounds by the new year, so I'm under 200 pounds!! So I have 3 months to loose those 46 pounds and it'll definately not be easy!! But I will be so happy when I reach that goal. Once I hit 199, then I will set my next goal. I'm setting small goals instead of looking at the big picture of 111 left to lose to hit 135 pounds.

I made it to Curves twice so far this week. Not sure if I'm going to make it today or tomorrow...but I will definatly get some kind of workout in. I did 20 minutes of Windsor Pilates this morning and it always kicks my butt! I do a 1 hour pilates class every Monday and it always makes me sore about Tuesday night! lol So far I have worked out 4 days, so I need to work out tomorrow to make it 5 days this week. My goal is to work out 5 days a week for at least 30 minutes! I have another 10 minutes to do today...at least! My hubby is leaving for his friend's cabin tonight to go archery deer hunting tomorrow morning, so I'll most likely do another workout tonight after he and all the extra kids leave. I babysit during the day and today I have kids until 6:30pm. (thank goodness that is only twice a week!) So it'll be around 7pm when I workout or may wait until 8, when I put the kids to be. I guess we will see!!! Well, gotta go figure out lunch for the kids!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

let's get started

Ok...so I'm going to do this! I have started this blog to help me to on my journey of health and fitness. I am in a competition on Weight Loss Wars and starting a new one Friday. I am excited to be in two competitions especially during the holiday season!!! I will really need it. I have lost 7 pounds in the 3 weeks the first competition started. I think it's not bad...but I could do better!! I'm doing ok with my eating (mostly) but I need to get more exercise in. I'm looking into the P90X system, but a little shaky about it. I know a few ladies that are doing it and waiting to see how they do before I get it and try the system. My current weight is 247 pounds and want to get down to 135-140 by next August, when I will be in a wedding of a good friend. I know I can do it with the support of my husband, family and online friends.

I hope that by blogging, I will be able to get out my frustrations this way instead of turning to food. I have two toddlers, so I can't just leave and take a walk when I get upset or frustrated...so this is going to be my outlet!!! I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. I was an overweight child, teenager and adult. I was losing weight and got into a size 14 when I met my husband and got pregnant. I had my son and then a year later, had my daughter. I had gained 60 pounds between the two pregnancies and didn't lose any of it. My kids are going to be 4 & 3 soon, and I weigh as much as I did when I gave birth to my daughter. I can't blame my children for my weight anymore! It's all my fault now. I have been sporatically exercising for years, but my eating has always been the issue. I woule eat when I wanted to, whatever I wanted to, even if I wasn't hungry. Sweets were and are my downfall. I love chocolate, pies, cookies, cheesecake, brownies....the list could go on, but you get the point! lol I am working right now on my sugar intake and it is hard!! I also have a caffeine addiction and drink Diet Mountain Dew...not the best thing..but working on breaking that too. It's soooo not easy!! So..here's to a new start and a brand new me!!