Happy Halloween!!

I love halloween! We had a little parade today and the kids got lots of candy thrown at them. I have a bag of candy that the kids won't or can't eat already to give away. Trick or treat is tonight...if the rain stops!! I will have more to get rid of then! The kids love it and it is fun to see them in their costumes and all excited.
I worked at Curves this morning and got my workout in. I also did half an hour on the Wii Fit Plus to show my hubby the new games on it. My 3 year old son loves when I play it because he likes to pick the games for me to play. Today is day 13 of consecutive exercise!!!! I feel good about it and I hope to keep it up!! I have to get up early before church tomorrow to get a workout in or it may not happen! There is a lot going on tomorrow...so I just have to get out of bed!!! Happy Halloween!!

day 11

Day 11 of consecutive exercise!!! I can't believe I have kept it up for this long! I feel really good after I do it, even when I am sweating bullets! I did my 30 minutes Wave exercise and then a 20 minute Windsor Pilates and I felt really good after I was done. I hope the scale tomorrow for my weigh in shows the efforts I have been putting in this week.

I went out to eat with my hubby tonight and thought I had ordered something really good. We went to Hoss's Steak and Sea food, which also has a salad, soup, bread, and dessert bar that goes with every entree. I ordered the Tomato Herb Tilapia instead of Steak, because I am trying not to eat animal proteins for dinner. ..which I am finding is kind of hard to do!!! I even got the steam brocolli instead of rice, but I forgot to ask how it was cooked. It comes out drowning in lemon butter sauce. I couldn't believe it!! It tasted really good, but not sure what that butter did to the fish!! Next time when we go, I know what to ask for! How can you take fish and make it so unhealthy!?! It's just wrong! I learned my lesson and it is a good thing we don't go out to eat often!! We went to Target and I got the new Wii Fit Plus and cannot wait to try it out tomorrow!!!

wet wednesday

It is raining....again! My back yard is a lake! I should post a pic just to show you how bad my yard floods! Anyway, I did have a great weekend and I am keeping it up. I did really good Monday and Tuesday with getting up and getting my workout in and doing well on my eating. I didn't work out this morning because I was way too tired and didn't get to it yet. I may do it here when the kids have lunch. I went to bed around 10 and then was up at 12:30 with both kids. My 3 year old went right back to sleep but my 2 year old was resisting. I laid down on the rug on the floor with a pillow intending to go back to bed when she fell asleep. Well, I must have fell asleep before her because when I woke up at 3am she was laying beside me and don't remember her getting out of bed. So, I put her back in her bed and I went back to mine. Well, when my alarm went of at 6am, both kids were in bed with me and I was sooo uncomfortable. A queen size bed isn't made for 4 people! I got up and so did my 3 year old and we came down and just chilled for a while. I could so go back to sleep right now, but my day has been going on now and there is so much to do.

The weigh in yesterday went really well! I was at 242! I was just excited because I didn't gain any weight over the weekend like I have been doing! In fact, I lost one pound from Friday! My goal is down 2 more pounds by Friday. It is a lot, but I think I can do it! I just have to get up and workout!!!! I'll take that one pound loss and move on! Any kind of loss is good!!! I know this will take me quite a while to acheive my goal and the Holiday Season is almost upon us!! I just have to be strong and stay away from the desserts and I will be ok!!

beautifrul day

I have had a good weekend. Saturday morning I went shopping with mom and got my 2 year old a halloween costume. She is going to be a purple fairy, with wings. My 3 year old is going to be a penguin again this year. We went to McDonalds for lunch and even though I didn't eat the fries, I did have an Angus burger. They are sooo good and I've been wanting a good burger. We went to my grandparent's for dinner because my hubby shot 4 squirrels and my grandma made him squirrel pot pie. The hubby ate 3 plates full of the stuff and I was just looking at the potatos and the homemade dough noodle and thought about all the fat and carbs!!! I had a sausage pattie and a little bit of macs n cheese. Again, not the best, but I couldn't just sit there and not eat anything! I was still a bit full from my lunch anyway!

I did get saturday's workout in before I left for shopping with mom. Today, I only got a little walk in, but at least it was something!! I ate really good today too, except for a tiny, tiny sliver of pumpkin cake. I love pumpkin!! We had breakfast for lunch at mom's today and so I made myself the eggs I usually eat in the mornings, one whole egg and two egg whites. I also had a little piece of ham and half a slice of turkey bacon. Dinner was 2 oz of whole wheat pasta and 4oz of flounder. My food scale has definately been getting a workout lately!!!

I would chalk this weekend up to a winner! It has definately been better than the last few weekends, even though I did eat at McDonald's!! I like Lisa's suggestion of not having animal protein for dinner and I think I am going to try that this week. The hubby won't do it, so I will just have to make him something! I have got to get to the store tomorrow and get some more veggies for salads for this week. Pilates tomorrow night!!!

day 5 of exercise

Today is my day 5 of consecutive exercise! I got up at 6am and did my workout. I did 30 minutes of the Wave and 20 minutes of Pilates. I felt really good afterwards. The kids got up and when I sat down, I was ready to sleep again! I know it is probably the Bendedryl I took because of my sinus headache and runny nose. It did just about knock me out yesterday!

I got a shower and that woke me up! The kids still aren't dressed yet, but that really doesn't matter if they are in their jammies all day! I'll probably get them dressed here soon. I have a Pampered Chef show tonight that I have to prep for today. I'm waiting for the Fed Ex guy to bring me more catalogs. I just about ran out and really need them for tonight's show!!

I have to get costumes for the kids this weekend. Lots of Halloween activites going on next week! Trunk n Treat at church Wednesday night, Parade and Trick or Treating Thursday night and Parade Saturday morning and Trick and Treating Saturday night!! The kids will love it all...but that will bring lots of candy into the house!! I plan to give most of it away! The kids are young enough, they won't know!! :)

My weigh in today went really good. It was 243.6, so I lost 3 pounds this week! I want to be at 239 by next Friday's weigh in! I worked hard this week and just have to keep it up! Going shopping with my mom tomorrow, so gotta get a workout in before I go..or who knows when I will have the time! :)

fabulous thursday

ok so after my rambling yesterday and Lisa's comments, I realized that my friends and family do love me the way I am! My husband tells me this all the time and has never pressured me to lose weight. I love him for that! I also thought of Lisa's question - if I would be happy at this weight for the rest of my life? I have been at this weight for 3 years now and I could live like this for the rest of my life because of all the love I have in my life. Now that I have made this realization, I think I can own my weight loss! I can move on from all my issues, which I have pretty much gotten over anyway, but emotional baggage can always surface! I don't think my weigh in tomorrow will be very good, but I will be ok with it.

I worked out everyday this week so far and I feel good about it! I have had to do it when the kids were up, but it's ok. They have been pretty good about leaving me alone and playing, but they are fascinated by the Wave board and just have to get on it sometimes! :) But I am 4 days into my goal and it's been good.

I went yesterday and cut off all my hair!! My husband was at the cabin hunting and had no clue that I was going to do it. I cut off about a foot of hair and donated it to Locks for Love. This is the 2nd time I've done it and it always feels good! So when hubby came home today, he was a bit surprised, but likes it. I had short hair like this when I met him and he's always liked it short anyway!

wednesday...wednesday...wednesday

It is a gorgeous 70 degree day out! The windows are open letting in some fresh air! The only problem is the swarms of ladybugs outside!! Hundreds of ladybugs! It is horrible! My yard is also muddy from the 4 days of rain we had over the weekend, so I really can't take the kids outback to play. It's ok..I'll take them to the playground again today. We walked up to the playground yesterday, only about a 5 minute walk, pushing 2 kids in a stroller!

Anyway, I have figured out my weight gain from the weekend. It is something I always do and hard to admit to. It happens everytime! I lose some weight and then I will go back to eating whatever I want and gain it all back. That was happening the last few days. I had made homemade bread, which is always so freaking good to eat! One was white bread and the other was cinnamon raison! I couldn't resist and I ate so much of it over a few days, and with little exercise, it caused me to regain 3 pounds. It's digusting, I know! I'm disgusted with myself and what I did, but I didn't care at the time. I really have to stop this cycle and just push through and lose all the weight. I know it is not going to be easy and it took years for me to get to this weight and it's not going to disapear overnight (don't we all wish it would?!) and so I have a long journey ahead of me. I have so much support online, that I hate to disappoint anyone when I slip up. I dissapoint myself the most, but I know my limits of what I can and cannot do and I know what I should eat and what I shouldn't!! Why can't I do it?! Why can't I stick to my eating plan? I'm not depriving myself of food, I can eat quite a bit of the right foods and stay within my calorie limit. So what is my problem?

It is emotional and mental. I always ate my emotions and now I don't know what to do instead. I have been better about it, but still need to find an outlet for my emotions. I know it's my past too...it's all the stuff I used to be called growing up, the lack of self-confidence that I still sometimes experience because I feel like I am constantly being judged by my weight. I am unhappy about it and have to put on a happy face most of the time to cover my sadness, or frustrations. It's hard for me to open up to people and tell them what I am going through or feeling or experiencing...even to my best friends that have known me forever! It's hard to tell my husband, because he has never had a weight problem and doesn't understand. I hate talking about my weight and weight loss attempts to my best friend, because she is way bigger than me and I don't want her to feel bad about herself! So this is my only outlet to talk about my frustrations and it is just easier to write them out...even if I know someone will read it.

So now that I got that out...I worked out for an hour today and feel really good about it. I got the Wave by the Firm and love it! It is fast paced and I will eventually get all the moves down! I did both the rock it out! and the sculpting one because I wanted to work on the steps and did really good!! I almost got all the steps down and I know one day soon I will get it! It works the hips, thighs, bum and core a lot (where I need the most work!) and also does upper body with weights while working the lower body! I know it is not as hard core as the P90X, but it is what I can do right now. With all exercise programs, there are great results with it that they show and so I am going to stick with it. I am trying to be like Lisa and try for 100 days of consecutive exercise!!! That's the new goal!!!!